Hi! 💖 Today’s the middle chapter of the To be a Girl story arc of Near Elite’s About and, in the great Empire Strikes Back tradition, it’s also the darkest. The one downside of reading these 12 years later is that you can really tell it was written by a teenager; it’s hard to find rape jokes as funny now, but I dunno, maybe you’ll like ’em?

If you think the end’s a bit abrupt, never fear: the conclusion to this story will reach Metrocop on Wednesday, April 25, so just make sure to check back then. Bye!