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Clover’s Other ComicsHow Do They Do It? – Synths

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A narrator asks how did the Combine create those awesome synths, then enumerates the steps. Step one: find a suitable base test subject. A Combine Civil Protection officer and an Overwatch elite soldier approach a young boy holding a cat and the cop tells him they're gonna have to confiscate his pet. The boy starts crying and the two Combine stare at each other. Moments later, the boy smiles as he walks away with an AR2 pulse rifle. As the two Combine stand there with the cat, the metro cop asks wait, aren't all the children supposed to be dead anyway. The elite tells him don't worry, Nature will work things out. Step two: research the most effective uses for the subject. We see the cat with a shotgun shoved up its butt staring at a metro cop, as a note says prototype X13: well I'll be damned, Postal did teach me something. A note then says prototype X25: I need a replacement cat, the ammo transportation synth idea didn't work. We see a large crate of ammunition on the ground and a little paw visible coming from behind it. The notes add that neither did Prototype X26, the information storage and transportation synth, as we see another cat squashed beneath a large Combine interface. We then see a censored image and the note prototype X38: Ted took the name pussy cat a bit too seriously. Then another note reads: I told Ted the 300 craze was over, but nooooo, we had to make prototype X41, it already killed the other persian cat test subjects and won't stop yelling. We see a cat standing with a sword and shield and the head of Gerard Butler as King Leonidas, screaming Sparta. We then see another cat with a shotgun up its butt, but this time the shotgun is reversed and aiming from the cat's anus. A note reads prototype X59, I tried a reverse X13 but it shot Ted while having a bowel movement. We then see a cat's head peeking out from a Combine floor turret. The note reads Prototype X71, nuts to this, I just hooked the cat up to a floor turret that shoots whenever it meows, better than those Striders at least, their guns look like genitals or something. The narrator states step three, unleash your arsenal of synths upon your enemies. We then see Prototype X71 plus other prototype Combine synths: an antlion with traffic lights for a face, a seagull with an explosive barrel glued to it, a poison headcrab with a lamp stuck on its head and a normal headcrab upside down glued to a Combine Hunter-Chopper mine. The narrator declares that soon enough, you'll have your own synths to destroy those rebels. The end.

Next comic:

Ban Court 3

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