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FZE’s Other ComicsThe Mostly True Adventures of FZE

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FZE is lying on a bed. A narrator states that you begin the day asleep, as you do every day. Your bed's collision models are a little off, and were never meant to be prop_physics_overrides, but that doesn't stop you. The narrator then says you wake up as FZE sits up on the bed and yawns. The narrator says you begin to contemplate a change of clothing, but that would mean redistributing it, not a chance. As FZE gets up and checks his phone, the narrator says you check your phone, the time is 2:37 PM, current topside temperature is a fucking million or something, that means it's Summer and your scholarships don't pay for you to learn in the Summer, score.

As FZE makes his way to the refrigerator, the narrator says you venture to the fridge to retrieve a morning beverage and you choose a Dr. Pepper, which looks suspiciously like a Breen Cola Red. FZE plays videogames as the narration describes that you decide to start the day with some Bad Company 2, your teammates are completely useless, why do you keep trying to play Rush. Oh well, any experience is good experience, maybe you can get your friends to form a squad. FZE gets on the phone and quickly grows annoyed, as the narrator says your bro is short $6 for the game, but refuses to break a 50. Not like a fifty dollar bill, though, a roll of fifty one dollar bills, he has five of them in his desk to look at, what a bitch.

FZE then looks to the side after hearing a noise. Three headcrab zombies from Half-Life 2 have entered the apartment. FZE looks horrified as the narrator screams a brigade of NPC zombies.

FZE turns to the camera and says that actually, a grouping of this quantity is more akin to a fireteam of NPC zombies. The narrator asks if you see what you did there as FZE picks up a flamethrower and fires it at the zombies. The narrator laughs and calls you a clever chap, then emphasizes the word fire in fireteam. The zombies' corpses crackle and pop as they burn on the ground.

FZE throws a fist up in the air triumphantly as the narrator declares crisis averted and says it's time for a sideshow. Later, FZE, wearing sunglasses, takes his green muscle car for a ride, as the narrator states viewers at home can bump New Oakland for added effect. FZE drives by a street where an older woman is standing next to a black man in a top hat and a patterned suit. The narrator says you decide to finish the day by bending the block, on lookout for some fly hos, but in this neighborhood you really should have known better. The end.

Next comic:

Born on the Thirtieth of January

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