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Half-Spartan#9: “Education Lesson”

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Master Chief is lying on the floor surrounded by beer bottles. He moans and asks why it's so bright in there. One of the many bottles surrounding him talks, telling him to drink more and it'll go away. A man then pokes into the room and waves, saying howdy, friend and that he just wanted to let Chief know he'll be his new roommate. One of the bottles then screams at the man to let them be as another bottle hisses. Master Chief then moves on the ground, waving his arm around and smacking bottles. The bottles scream that he's moving. As he turns, Chief smashes another bottle, which screams that it regrets nothing. Another bottle starts to say it's too young to die and gets smashed mid-sentence. A bottle calls Master Chief sick, just plain sick. He tells it to shut up and another bottle calls him a murderer. Amy then enters the room. A bottle tells her to be gone but she simply tells the bottles to get out now. Another bottle says that the power of a woman's warmth gets it every time. The bottles leave in lines, the one in front telling Amy that the thousand nations of the alcoholic army descend upon you. It continues that their liquids will blot out the sun, but another cuts it off by laughing at the word liquids and says good one, sir. Amy goes to Master Chief and tells him to get up. He replies no. She insists. A pause, then he repeats no. Chief says he's forgotten everything he's ever learned in training. Amy proudly tells him that with the power of she, Amy, he will relearn everything he'd ever need to know. Chief repeats no. Moments later, outside the room, Amy has drawn two plus two on the wall. She tells Chief to just give it a try. He unconvincingly suggests chair and she screams correct. She starts drawing again, saying now, onto some standard battle tactics when capturing the enemies' flag. She draws a complex base of a battlement with two flags. A thud sound is heard as Amy's expression switches from happiness to frustration. Chief is lying on the ground again. She sighs and says it's recess time. Master Chief moans yay. Outside, on the rooftop, he sits staring at the horizon and says that he doesn't know, maybe he was never meant to finish the fight. The bottles surround him, one saying just drink more and the others chanting more. One of the bottles suddenly leaps forward, saying it can't take it anymore, they're killing him. The other bottles gasp Frank, no. Frank rolls down the rooftop at super speed, but at the end slows down and stops right at the edge of the rooftop. It gets back up and says oh, thank God, that was close, and wonders what it was thinking. It says it'll be right back but suddenly loses its footing and falls, then breaks on the ground. Chief and the other bottles stare in silence for a moment. Chief then comments that was overly suspenseful and moves his arm, knocking another bottle down, breaking it. It screams that it burns as another bottle shouts that he's moving again. Chief calls it an eventful day and a bottle retorts it'd actually call this the least productive day Master Chief has ever had, besides killing half of them. Master Chief tells himself maybe he can finish the fight after all. The end.

Next comic:

#10: “I Have a Secret”

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