Mythos’ Old ComicsIt’s an Odd Job!

Mythos is wearing a Homburg hat and waiting to cross the street while two men grin behind him. The narrator says hello, today we're going to accompany Mythos as he tries a new product he acquired, a hat. The narrator notes that it's not very stylish, as one of the guys behind Mythos says to the other man, if this guy knew how ridiculous he looks. The two of them laugh loudly. Mythos' face turns sour and he reaches for the hat as the narrator reveals that it's more useful than it appears to be, in fact, your hats can't do what this hat does. Behind Mythos, the G-Man runs after a crow that's stealing his briefcase.

The guy mocking Mythos says we're mafiosi, this is a bank robbery as the other cracks in laughter. Suddenly, Mythos' hat flies past them. The mocker stares at his hand with a shocked expression, then the hand starts to bleed from a large cut. The two men stare at it, then run away screaming. As Mythos grabs his hat again and smiles, the narrator reveals Mythos' new hat is a concealed weapon, and a very effective one.

Later, as Mythos walks near a park, the narrator explains that usually, he only scares the shit out of those who mock his hat, but if they test his patience. A guy from a gang says hey yo, check out that guy. Another laughs and says that's just so fuckin' ridiculous, to which the first retorts he must think it makes him a badass or some shit like that. A third guy says it's just so lame he can't even look at it. A vortigaunt wearing a green hat adds damn right.

Mythos stares at them with an angry look, then his left eye twitches as the narrator explains that, just like anyone, he has his limits and you're gonna see what lies past them. Suddenly, the sound of blood splatter is heard. The first guy, still with a laughing expression, has Mythos' hat lodged in his forehead.

The others stare at him with shocked looks, then at Mythos, who just stares them down. The gangsters flee.

Mythos picks his hat back up as the narrator says and so starts the hunt. The vortigaunt is running and says ah damn, he's catching up. He then sees Mythos' hat flying straight at himself and says oh, shit.

The vortigaunt bends down and barely dodges the hat, with a message saying holy crap. The vortigaunt looks up and realizes in shock he's still alive, then turns to Mythos and laughs, saying he missed and he's so gonna rip his guts out.

As the vortigaunt threatens to beat the crap outta Mythos with his own guts, Mythos simply smiles at him. The vortigaunt asks what's so funny and why he's laughing, unaware that the hat, like a boomerang, is flying back at him. The hat hits him in the back, lodging itself.

The vortigaunt falls down dead. The narrator notes another one down, two to go. One of the other guys is running away, saying to himself oh God, he's after him and he has to hide. The narrator rhetorically asks if he's going into a tunnel and tells him bad idea, as Mythos cuts him off. The guy screams, then begs him to spare him. Mythos hits him in the groin with the hat, causing a crunching sound. The guy crosses his eyes in pain as even the narrator comments ouch.

The guy falls to his knees holding his bleeding groin as Mythos leaves holding the hat and the narrator notes only one left. The last guy is running and tells himself he can't just run, he'll catch up. As he wonders what to do, he notices a nearby shovel and smiles with a mean look. Moments later, Mythos, wearing his bloodied hat, is looking for the guy, the narrator wondering where he's hiding.

As Mythos looks for the last guy and the narrator promises he's not going to get away, the guy is hiding nearby holding his shovel. He says Mythos is going down in three, two, one, then whacks Mythos in the head as he walks past him. As Mythos stands there shocked, the guy laughs and asks how'd that feel, then if he's ready to give up. Mythos simply grabs the shovel away and stares at the guy as the narrator reveals he didn't feel that at all.

The guy stares in shock and asks what, how, then gets hit back in the face with the shovel as the narrator tells him taste your own medicine. As the guy falls down bleeding from his nose and cursing Mythos, the latter walks away, having had his revenge. The narrator notes you've just seen what a hat can do in day-to-day issues, but what about a bigger than life challenge.

The narrator sets up a hypothetical and unrealistic situation, then tells the readers to not try this at home, it'd be nasty. Mythos and another man stand facing each other in a railway as the narrator calls it the duel of the century. The other man, whom the narrator calls a nutcase, is wielding a rocket-propelled grenade launcher. Mythos just has his trusty death-hat. The narrator says get set, ready, go. The nutcase fires a rocket at Mythos, who smiles and simply throws his hat. The rocket and the hat fly towards each other and the rocket explodes in mid-air. To the nutcase's shock, the hat keeps flying at him regardless and, just as the man reacts in horror, hits the rocket launcher, lodging itself on the end. The man stares in shock at it as Mythos grins, the narrator joking that you know what they say, never bring a rocket launcher to a hat duel.

Mythos recreates the famous dancing scene from Singing in the Rain as the G-Man drinks a beer behind him, depressed over losing his briefcase. The narrator says and so, with a bang and not a whimper, the test is over. Mythos' hat has proven its quality and he now sings in the rain, happy with his new toy. Just remember, do not mess with odd hats, they can be your end. Literally. The end.

Next comic:

Balloon Nostro

1 thought on “It’s an Odd Job!”

George_Stukas

December 15, 2023

You are a fearsome man to cross paths with, Mythos

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