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Worse than LifeA tribute to friends everywhere

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We open with a situation named the date. AJ Rimmer's friend CJ opens the door to his apartment and greets Rimmer coldly, saying oh hey, it's you, what do you want. Rimmer asks CJ with a smile if he wants to go find something to do. CJ tells him he can't, he's got a hot date in there. Rimmer says OK, maybe we can talk later, but is cut off by CJ slamming the door on him. Rimmer comments to himself that CJ always has a hot date and wonders how he can keep meeting girls like that. Inside the apartment, PopwarBunny is there with a horse and asks CJ if he's ready for some fun. CJ says he doesn't know and comments that Popwar said he was gonna get them a dead midget this time, got his hopes up and everything. The second situation is called the debate, as CJ and Rimmer argue at school. CJ tells Rimmer he fucking hates him so much, he can't even look at him. CJ calls Rimmer such a geek that even guys who dress up to go to Star Trek conventions look down on him, and asks Rimmer if he knows that CJ started the rumor that Rimmer got AIDS from the gym teacher. CJ says Rimmer is such a pussy too that he must have periods, then says he looks like a car accident and pushes him away due to the smell of him. Rimmer asks if CJ feels like that, why does he always follow him. CJ looks offended and replies that it's because they're friends, then complains about Rimmer hurting his feelings. Then, the comic switches to a story called MacGuyman written by Rimmer's friend and made in association with the National Association of Comic makers Against Friends' Ideas. A man is walking across the street when a hobo spots him and calls him out, recognizing him as someone named something like MacGyv, MacGoo, MacGooey or MacGuyman. The hobo says he needs MacGuyman's help, telling him he doesn't have anything, not even his own home, and he spends all day sitting on the street drinking his own urine and pretending it's booze, then at night throws feces at couples making out in the park. The hobo begs MacGuyman to tell him how to make money. The guy says of course and tells him all he needs is a paperclip, some ants and a gun. Fourteen seconds pass and the hobo angrily exclaims how the fuck a paperclip, some ants and a gun are gonna help him. MacGuyman retorts it's not him they'll help and shoots the hobo, then drags the body away laughing to himself that he knows a Russian guy who's gonna pay him fifty dollars for the spleen and twenty dollars a lung if he wasn't a smoker. The end.

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Not an introduction.

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