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Worse than LifeRimmer gets the mail
(And some degree of hilarity ensues)

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As he walks across the hallway of his building and down the stairs, AJ Rimmer sings in his head that he's going down to get the mail and hopes it's not some bills because he doesn't have any money left. As Rimmer checks his mailbox, the narrator says that there's some interesting people you meet when you're getting the mail, like Mister Peters, for instance, as a vortigaunt approaches Rimmer, greets him as humanoid and asks if he is pregnant yet. Rimmer tells him he is not pregnant and Mister Peters orders him to inform him when he is, for he will assimilate his eggs for future study. The narrator points out that Mister Peters is a bit nosy, but he thinks it's part of his culture and he's Ukranian or something. The narrator then moves to Old Man Russel, who likes to get up early and watch the morning hookers. With a smile, Russel tells Rimmer it's going to be a beautiful day. As a woman enters the mail room, the narrator points her out as the weird chick with the tight, white body strap suit, who demanded to become a recurring character after she appeared in the last episode. As Rimmer looks at her breasts, the narrator asks if the reader expected him to say no. As she walks away, the narrator further adds that it's kinda freaky but he doesn't think she has any other outfit. The narrator then points out Phil, the crazy stalker who only ever gets new restraining orders in his mail, as Phil checks that Amanda has put a five hundred yards restraining order on him and declares very well, let us play our little game. The narrator also mentions the neighborhood drunk Ryan, who is standing outside the building's door telling Rimmer to check if he has any mail. Rimmer tells Ryan he can't really do that, seeing as Ryan doesn't live there, but Ryan points out a box and asks whose box is that then. Rimmer replies good point and Ryan asks if he can come in, Rimmer tells him no and Ryan says he's gonna go piss his pants. As for himself, Rimmer narrates that he usually reads his mail as he sorts it for a few hours, hoping that the hot girl who dresses like a slut is gonna come down while he's there. Upstairs, said hot girl is looking down at the room, thinking to herself that the creepy guy who dresses like a creepy guy is still down there. Rimmer then mentions that sometimes he goes through fan letters from that guy who thinks he's the guy who makes Saturday morning breakfast cereal, then moves on to hate mail. He reads the letter, which states that the sender has noticed a disturbing trend in the last few episodes of Worse than Life where he is putting more and more sex into his comics, asking if that is because Rimmer is running out of ideas or because he finally realized that people don't give a shit about his self-referential, cynical dark comedy, but really just want some tits and ass. Rimmer narrates his reply, telling dear Not A Fan that he is sorry to tell them that he does not see what he means, because the few times that sex or nudity has been portrayed in his comics, it's always been in the outmost taste, and it has always been crucial to the story. As Rimmer concludes his reply, a hot naked girl runs across the hallway, screaming wooo, I'm naked. The end.

Next comic:

The choice

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