Worse than LifeWorse than Life logo.Orientation

As AJ Rimmer waits in front of an elevator, a woman steps out and introduces herself to him as Monica. Rimmer welcomes her to Drolltech and starts to guide her around the office. She comments there was a strange smell in the elevator and he tells her there is a colony of dead rats in the elevator shaft and for her to think of it as extra suspension. Monica asks Rimmer how long he has worked there and he matter-of-factly replies with six years, eleven months and fourteen days, then adds that it helps if you think of it like a prison sentence. As they walk, Rimmer tells her look honey, he's sorry to have to tell her this, but this is where dreams go to die. He introduces her to the lunch room, telling her if she uses the microwave to be sure to clean it out after and to not mind the coffee, she'll get used to it. They enter the store room and Rimmer tells Monica to ignore Mike, who is crying in the corner. Monica asks why he was crying and Rimmer explains that they don't rightly know, he's been doing it for eleven years and no one knows why and he always pretends like it didn't happen. Rimmer then guides her to her new desk, warning her that her chair doesn't raise, and says they'll go visit IT to get her login. At the IT department, Rimmer greets Bruce and asks if he has Monica's ID and pass. Bruce retorts that no one told him about her, he needs a manager's order and then six weeks later she can get a password, until then, welcome and fuck off. Rimmer apologizes to Monica about it, but then another coworker walks in, who Rimmer introduces as Susan. Monica starts to introduce herself but Susan screams at her no names, and tells her she's only here because Jackie shot herself and Monica, like most greenhorns, probably won't last more than a month or two. Susan goes on a rant about being there with Jackie for the DDoS attack of 2014, the leak from billing in 2010, and that she has seen the servers go down more times than Monica can count. She tells Monica to not give her her fucking name and that, until she has seen her first server outage or have worked there for more than six months, she has no fucking name. Rimmer laughs it off as Susan leaves, then warns Monica that it's probably not a good idea to tell anyone her name for at leas three months, just in case people take offense. Rimmer then tells her he was told to spend ten minutes showing her the place and it's been ten minutes, so he starts to leave. He tells her it's nice meeting her, welcome aboard, sink or swim, resist or serve or something like that. As she stands alone, Monica looks down in defeat. A final slogan states that dedication, focus, the big picture and transitional are why the customer chooses Drolltech in over 3 of 10 surveys! The end.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *.
You can change your profile picture using Gravatar.