Mythos’ Old ComicsNot Another Mingebag Comic

At the end of Half-Life 2, in the office on the top floor of the Combine Citadel of City 17, Doctor Wallace Breen is monologuing to a captive Doctor Eli Vance about worlds stretched thin across the membrane where worlds intersect, impossible to describe with our limited vocabulary. Eli snaps back that what he's seen is also beyond words, genocide, indescribable evil. Eli stares at the entrance to the office and starts to say good God, but suddenly reacts in shock and asks wait, Izzy. Breen turns around and asks what he's talking about. At the door, a lone figure with outstretched arms bent in a T-pose and with a glowing gravity gun on its crotch mumbles lol.

Breen confusedly recognizes the figure as Isaac Kleiner and asks what the heck is that on his crotch and how did he get past the guards. We then see a Combine elite soldier twisted into an unnatural position and floating next to the door where Isaac Kleiner, or more accurately the mingebag posing as Kleiner, says roflmao lol bbq1. In leet speak, the mingebag says it's the end of Half-Life 2 and that he hacks. Breen retorts oh well, it doesn't matter, then approaches the console in his room to send Eli to his new off-world home and then he'll call security. He snidely starts to ask why he should be afraid of Kleiner, but is cut off as the mingebag's physics gun pulls him into the air, seemingly killing him instantly.

The mingebag laughs and says pwnt, then tosses Breen's ragdoll at the table with a bye-bye. Twisting his face into an unnatural expression, the mingebag approaches Eli, who, horrified, realizes he's not Izzy and asks who or what he is. The mingebag laughs and says he will facepose Eli now. Eli doesn't understand his language, then screams as his face is contorted by the mingebag's faceposer tool.

The mingebag leaves the office saying that Half-Life 2 rocks. Behind him, Breen's corpse has been posed on top of Eli, who moans that this is so embarrassing. The mingebag notices a bust of Doctor Breen and incredulously asks Breen again as he picks it up. Elsewhere, a Combine elite soldier is telling another elite a story, mentioning having asked how the hell did they get their entire squad killed. The other elite then notices someone's using the elevator. He waits and stares, then glimpses the mingebag's physics gun.

At the sight of the mingebag's groin physics gun, the Combine elite soldier goes into alert, ordering the other to trigger the alarm because they have hostiles. He then suddenly calms down and apologizes, saying he didn't recognize them, sir. We then see that the mingebag is holding the bust of Doctor Breen like a mask, fooling the soldier. The mingebag says lol, no problem, Combine, then be right back as he moves past the soldiers. As the mingebag leaves, the soldiers go back to their chat, one asking what Leeroy said and the other explaining that then he shot him so he didn't say much afterwards, but mumbled something about a chicken.

At the very end of Half-Life 2, the G-Man starts giving a speech about time, presumably to Doctor Freeman. As he says it seems as if he has only just arrived, he switches voices to a more normal tone and notes that something's not right there. He looks around and doesn't see the big explosion or Freeman, then rationalizes that maybe he's just late and he'll come back later. He then hears a soft lol and scaredly wonders what was that, recognizing the sound. The mingebag suddenly pops up right next to him and shouts hiya, G-Man. The G-Man screams in terror. A while later, the mingebag proclaims that his masterpiece is finished. The G-Man and Alyx's bodies are contorted together in a very unnatural shape.

The mingebag proclaims that the end of Half-Life 2 rocks and G-Man for the win as he goes back to the menu screen of Garry's Mod Nine. He says he wants to play more and starts loading another map. He enters the Counter-Strike: Source map CS Office and exclaims that this isn't Half-Life 2 and it's a new map. Later, a terrorist is prowling the office when he notices something that confuses him. He approaches the mingebag, who's just standing there, and scratches his head.

The mingebag says halo. Also speaking in leet speak, the terrorist says oh my God, a talking hostage, hacks. The mingebag says lol, what, hostage. The terrorist says yeah, he's a hostage. Mingebag laughs and says oh, really. The terrorist says o-m-g, really. Mingebag lols and says he's not a hostage, what the fuck is this. The terrorist replies that this is CS, for fuck's sake. The mingebag retorts that CS sucks. The terrorist tells him to shut the fuck up, noob. The mingebag says bye-bye and disconnects. The terrorist says yeah, that's right, fear my elite skills.

Immediately, a counter-terrorist shoots the terrorist in the back of the head, killing him instantly. In the chat, the dead terrorist proclaims hacks.

Meanwhile, in Doctor Kleiner's laboratory in City 17, a cat walks into the lab, followed by Barney, who says aww, he's so cute. Barney calls out to the doc and tells him to forget the head-humper for a second and look what he found. He then asks how's the teleporter going and if it's ready yet. Kleiner stands in front of a crate with his arms outstretched and his back to Barney. An ominous sound plays as he turns around slowly, revealing himself to be the mingebag, who laughs and says hi to you, Barney. The end.

Next comic:

It’s an Odd Job!

1 thought on “Not Another Mingebag Comic”

George_Stukas

March 9, 2024

Ah this is giving me a tummy ache in the best way possible

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