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Strike Force AwesomeEpisode 3

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Strike Force Awesome's van-copter cuts across the skies at great speed. Inside, the Punk Rock Song by Bad Religion is playing as the lieutenant drives with a serious, focused look. Next to him, Colonel Gordon Lightfoot says he can understand why they're in a hurry, but asks if the Bad Religion is really necessary.

The lieutenant ignores Colonel Lightfoot's question as he continues to fly intently, as Bad Religion plays louder in the background. Suddenly, the van-copter lands hard on top of the houseboat, making everyone inside fall over. As the crew leaves the van in a hurry looking sick, the lieutenant smiles to himself as a Crazy Taxi-like message saying Speedy appears.

Inside the houseboat, Sergeant Nguyen stares at the rest of the team, sitting around the houseboat loafing. Colonel Lightfoot and the lieutenant are watching a movie on a large old TV. There's a bunch of trash sprewn across the floor.

Nguyen asks Lightfoot to explain why the living quarters are a complete mess. Lightfoot shrugs and asks how should he know, then tells her to ask the housekeeper. Nguyen angrily replies they don't have a housekeeper.

Lightfoot points out they may have stumbled onto the source of the problem. Nguyen facepalms and says if they don't do anything to maintain that heap, it's going to have very little resale value. Lightfoot retorts that shithole is going to have zero resale value when he nukes it from orbit and tells her to mark his words, its days in the world are numbered.

Nguyen says fine, they'll let that dump fall apart, now that that's settled, does Lightfoot suppose they could start planning for the mission. Turning back to the TV, Lightfoot replies watching Death Wish 3 constitutes planning for the mission and tells her to watch his technique. As a gunshot sound comes from the TV, Lightfoot triumphantly raises a bottle and says picked the wrong camera, didn't you, fucker.

Annoyed, Nguyen stares at Lightfoot, then turns around as someone knocks on the door behind her. Lightfoot stares at the door as well and raises an eyebrow.

The rest of the team also stare at the door that someone just knocked. The lieutenant grins and says heeee, get 'im Charles.

Lightfoot opens the door as the team stares behind him. A man with a devilish goatee and a dark suit stands at the door. Lightfoot asks if he's a Jehovah's witness.

Lightfoot asks if he's Hare Krishna, the man at the door stares with a smile and says okay, now he's just guessing. Lightfoot confesses that's about the size of it.

The man at the door tells Lightfoot to let him help him then and says he's with the Order of Adramalech, Lord of Darkness. As he tries to talk, Lightfoot suddenly cuts him off excitedly, screaming demon worship, are you serious. Lightfoot then turns around to one of his team members and triumphantly asks who called it. The team member says fuck that, that is some shit right there. Lightfoot tells him to pay up.

Lightfoot turns back to the man at their doorstep and says sorry though, none of them are looking for a new religion at this time. The man says the Dark Lord will be most displeased to hear that. Lightfoot asks if it would cheer the Dark Lord up to hear that he just made thirty bucks, then the teammate corrects him to twenty and he continues to ask twenty bucks and a Nightwish CD.

The demon worshipper's face grows stern as he notes he gets the impression they're not taking this too seriously. Lightfoot tells him he tries not to take anything too seriously, takes all the fun out of life. The teammate that lost the bet asks him to not tell Gatsby about the bet yet, he wants to see the look on his face. The worshipper asks if this is some sort of joke to them.

Lightfoot retorts oh, Gods no, jokes are typically funny. He then points up. Suddenly, the lieutenant leaps through the air above them, holding two knives.

The demon worshipper stares up, then gets whacked in the face by Sergeant Nguyen. He falls back on the boot and calls her a prick.

Suddenly, two knives poke through the demon worshipper's boat. Aimnig a gun at him, Sergeant Nguyen tells him boat's got holes and he might ought to start paddling. Lightfoot tells him goodbye and asks for his name.

The demon worshipper declares his name to be Norton and that they'll come to know it well, then curses Gordon Lightfoot and his lackeys and their forsaken boat. Floating next to him in the water, the lieutenant mumbles goodbye, Mister Norton with a knife in his mouth. Norton calls him a dick.

In response, the lieutenant pokes another hole in the boat. Norton comments sarcastically that that's charming as the lieutenant smiles. As he leaves, Norton declares Strike Force Awesome's ass is his.

Back at the houseboat, Lightfoot tells the team to not worry too much about the curse thing, saying it doesn't get much more cursed than that shitheap. Nguyen slams the door and asks if they can now please make a final decision on insertion method and get gear together.

Lightfoot tells Nguyen to relax and says he's spent his spare time well. He tells her they'll be needing a nuclear missile sub. She asks why is that, noting angrily they already have a sub. Lightfoot lifts an index finger and agrees, but asks if their sub can launch their sub like a nuclear fucking missle.

Nguyen stares dumbfounded at Lighfoot. Lighfoot repeats his question if it can. Nguyen angrily shouts back no, no it can't, and tells him she was hoping a question that retarded had to be rhetorical, but guesses she should have known better.

Somewhere in the North Atlantic, January 30, 2009, five hundred and eighteen hours. Norton is paddling in the middle of the night, still thinking angrily about those filthy Strike Force Awesome pigs. Suddenly, water starts bubbling quickly behind him. Immediately after, a submarine flies from the ocean into the sky, crashing his boat and throwing him into the water.

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