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Worse than LifeIf all my dreams were to come true…

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AJ Rimmer daydreams what his life would be like if all his dreams came true. He thinks to himself that it would be a wonderful place for him as he imagines being broadcast from the Combine screens, telling an officer that a man stood still for a full two seconds and ordering him dead and his entrails fed to the dogs. He imagines that the woman of his desires would realize what a total jerk her boyfriend is, as he pictures her telling her boyfriend she just realized what a total jerk he is. He pictures a missile heading towards his apartment while his grandpa asks him how come he hasn't gotten a girlfriend yet and whether he is gay, thinking that every family reunion would be abruptly stopped when a stray Tomahawk missile from an F-22 hit his house and completely obliterated his family, his home and his neighbors. People would start listening to him, as he imagines having a gun to a hostage's head and declaring that if they interrupt Firefly with one more Survivor commercial, he swears to God he will blow that guy's brains out. He imagines that women would find him more tolerable, with an imaginary woman telling him if he was the last man, strike that, the last person on Earth and all the good-looking monkeys were taken, she would seriously consider sleeping with Rimmer. He would also have Jedi powers, as he imagines standing in line ordering in his mind that someone leave the line and the woman in front realizing on second thought that her son doesn't really need that insulin. Finally, he would also be able to remove people from existence with his mind, as the people in line disappear entirely, because he fucking hates standing in line. The end.

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