Combine Exchange ProgramEpisode 6: Solo Mission

The metro cop is sitting at his table doing paperwork when the Combine soldier shouts hey from the doorframe, scaring him, then asks if he's ready to go on patrol. The cop replies they're not going to patrol today because it's an admin day, to which the soldier asks the hell's an admin day.
The cop replies that it's when they do paperwork all day and adds that today's going to be a long one, because, thanks the soldier's beating spree the other day, he has over fifty forms to fill out. The soldier protests that he said that would only be one form. The cop replies that it's per person, to which the soldier says oh. The cop suggests the soldier use this time to catch up on his own paperwork. The soldier sits down, stretching his legs onto another chair in a relaxed pose, and replies that Overwatch doesn't do paperwork.
The cop tells him he finds that hard to believe, but the soldier simply tells him to believe what he wants. The metro cop points out that Overwatch controls the whole planet, then asks if the soldier's telling him it doesn't have any administrative overhead. The soldier says nope, explaining that, since they're all cyborgs, everything they say and do is automatically recorded and uploaded to the central network and the Citadel has artificial intelligence and machine learny thingies that do all the work, so they just shoot things when they're told to.
The cop stares down and says he guesses being transhuman has its perks after all. The soldier agrees and says being normal must suck. The cop starts to tell him he wouldn't go that far, but a nearby Combine interface starts beeping. Surprised, the cop goes to check it and clicks a button. From the interface, a friendly voice says hiya, bud and identifies itself as Chief, then asks how the hell he is.
The cop awkwardly replies good, sir, then waits for a response, followed by an awkward pause as nobody replies. The cop looks back at the soldier, who shrugs, then starts to ask the chief how he is. The chief cuts him off to say he's fantastic and thanks him for asking.
Another awkward pause follows. The cop asks if he wanted something, but the chief replies nope and wishes him a great day. As the cop goes to turn off the interface, the chief's voice suddenly says wait and tells him he actually has something for him, then adds that there are reports of a crazy man making a box fort in the sewers and orders him to get his butt down there and check it out.
The cop rubs his neck and says he's actually a little busy, then asks the chief if he could assign someone else. The chief shouts that it's not his problem, then tells him, if he's too busy, to send that trained ape Overwatch sent him, and turns off the call. The cop looks back at the soldier and asks him if he thinks he can handle this one on his own. The soldier gets up and replies pssh with a handwave. The cop asks him to just follow the roles as he leaves, to which the soldier says yeah, yeah.
Later, the Combine soldier heads out towards the sewers, crossing a railway in the outskirts of City 17.
The soldier enters the sewers through a gap in a tunnel fence. He then reaches a path blocked by a series of wooden crates and figures that must be it. He then notices two glowing eyes from behind the wooden fortification and asks if there's someone there.
An older man wearing a Chinese takeout container on his head leaps up onto a crate and points at the soldier, exclaiming that he knew someone would come for his crates one day. He asks the soldier if the Baroness sent him, declaring that she's been trying to usurp his throne for years, then demands he tell her she'll never get any of his sweet pigeon meat. The soldier asks who, then tells him no and tries to explain why he's there, but cuts himself off to ask about the pigeon meat. The crazed man says yes, pigeon meat, then explains that it's the next big thing and the Baroness can't stand that he has the market cornered on it.
With a frown, the insane old man tells the Overwatch soldier he's not surprised the Baroness sent a trained ape like him to stop him. The soldier replies he's with Civil Protection. The man asks if he's there to send him back to Nova Prospekt, to which the soldier replies if it comes to that. The man shouts he ain't going back, that place is full of weirdos, and asks what'll it be as he aims a pigeon at the soldier. The soldier raises his AR2 pulse rifle in return, ordering the man to put down the pigeon.
The soldier suddenly remembers the metro cop telling him about the rules and begrudgingly lowers his gun, saying he'll use the minimum amount of force necessary to subdue the man. The man laughs it off and says in that case, then throws the pigeon with a scream of smoke pigeon.
The pigeon plops down on the ground. The man grumbles poop and says that one must have been a dud. However, the pigeon suddenly bursts into smoke, covering everything and making the soldier cover his mask. When the smoke dissipates, the man is nowhere to be seen. The soldier says uh oh.
The soldier wonders aloud where the man went. The man is behind him with a crazed look and a shovel in his hands. Moments later, the man triumphantly runs away as the soldier lies bleeding on the ground. To be continued next episode.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *.
You can change your profile picture using Gravatar.