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Elite & Pwnag3Episode 18: Christmas-Times

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In the office lounge, T3h Pwnag3 and his girlfriend, Psychotic CC, are sitting on the couch next to a Christmas tree. She asks if they’re alone and he replies he thinks so, then asks where were they and says ah, yes. The narrator says alone? That you cannot say, because Near Elite is not far away. Near Elite is trying to fix the lights of the Christmas tree, but he’s rather pissed, because he needs to pee. Bad, sad and mad words come from his tongue, so many words that he soon must have a bigger lung. Near Elite swears loudly as he tries to fix the lights on the Christmas tree. Pwnag3 and Psychotic CC move in for a kiss, the narrator noting what’s this, a kiss, a chance Pwnag3 don’t wanna miss. Suddenly, Near Elite is electrocuted by the lights and shot back towards the couch. He falls on top of T3h Pwnag3 and gets kissed on the cheek by Psychotic CC, to whom he says whoa, Psychotic, take it easy, you’ve got a boyfriend. Then Pwnag3’s eyes turned red, soon his madness will be spread. And into the Christmas tree Near Elite went, the Christmas tree he many hours had spent to decorate. Kazumi then comes into the office with his new outfit, singing Jingle Bells. He looks at the state of the tree and screams fuck, what happened here. Pwnag3 looks to the side shamefully and says Near hit on his girlfriend. Kazumi asks if he knows how much time it took to find such a perfect Christmas tree, then tells Near to come with him and help him find a new fir. Near shouts back then can you fucking help me outta the old one. Kazumi facepalms. And so they went to find another Christmas tree, it won’t be the best thing you can see. Kazumi tells Near Elite to get his ass over there next to a tree, then explains he found one and orders Near to cut it out. Later on, at home, by the radio and not the phone, Near tunes a small radio and tells the others it’s time to dance around the fir. Near Elite, Kazumi, Divided and Links dancing around the tree singing a Swedish folk song: räven raskar över isen, räven raskar över isen, och fär vi lov, och fär vi lov, att sjunga. They accidentally crash into each other and fall down unconscious next to the tree. Later on, Near looks around, then notices Gogi and asks him how he celebrates Christmas. Gogi retorts he doesn’t, he drinks vodka and hails Lenin, Stalin and Putin. Near says right. The narrator declares and so, Christmas day came, we love it, it’s not lame, Kazumi, Divided, Links are all awakened, only Auriga is naked. All the presents are laying on the floor, we all like Mosquito’s editing with gore, anyway, it’s time for presents today, don’t be on your bed and lay, okay, I’m running out of rhymes, I can’t find anything which rhymes on rhyme. Screw rhymes! Links says okay, okay, let’s start already. Kazumi asks if they only get one as the narrator sings that Kazumi just wanted everyone to be happy and glad, and they are, so there’s no reason to be mad. Near Elite grins wildly as he raises a copy of The Elder Scrolls 4: Oblivion as the narrator notes oh my, Near Elite got Oblivion, he’ll not play it one hour, but a million. Psychotic CC got earrings, how kind, so tiny they’re impossible to find. Psychotic asks seriously, what the fuck. Links holds a copy of The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess for Nintendo Wii, the narrator points out he wants it too now. Gogi got drunk, that sunk. The narrator states T3h Pwnag3 wanted a toaster, who cares, but the one who give him a microwave dares. Divided looks annoyed as he stares at a cactus, the narrator singing if he doesn’t like it, he can shove it up in his ass. Near says yay gay, that’s all I have, now I just wanna wish you all a happy Christmas. Then everyone else jumps him madly, shouting it’s merry Christmas and cursing him. As they fight, a message says from me to you all a Merry Christmas. The end.

Next comic:

Episode 19: The Race

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