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Kenny the Copin “The Return”

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A speech balloon proclaims that Kenny the Cop returns as Kenny leaps out of some boxes with a triumphant scream of booyah. A small disclaimer states that this comic was made with 100% recycled win.

Kenny falls down from the boxes with a scream of oh, shit and lands on the ground. A man wearing a blue and red beret then shouts sacré bleu and declares that his masterpiece is ruined. He looks at Kenny and calls him an uncultured swine, then tells him that maybe this will teach him to appreciate fine art as he kicks Kenny in the stomach. Kenny calls out for his gallbladder.

As he leaves holding his stomach, Kenny states that he doesn't know what hurts more, running through a wall of crates or the embarrassment of being beaten up by a Frenchman. The narrator declares that everyone's favorite multicolored metrocop is back as Kenny stands in a superhero pose in front of the American flag. The narrator states that Kenny's adventures are more disjointed than ever, now with more suspense. We see Kenny standing in front of a black and white background holding a handgun, asking Couper what's up and what the fuck he is doing. Couper, holding an assault rifle, calls Kenny a mother fucker and replies that he is watching some God damn Sesame Street. Frederick approaches and asks what they are bitching about now.

Frederick adds that the two little shits better get the fuck outta his sight or he'll bust some fucking buckshot into their Goddamn asses. Wilbur then appears somehow holding two sniper rifles and screaming nigga, please. The narrator then declares more baby saving as Kenny leaps out of a burning building holding a baby and singing that he's saving babies. The narrator states that they are going to new heights as Kenny and Couper stand in front of a rover on the Moon, Kenny declaring that they're on the moon and Couper replying holy shit. A message appears in front of them stating fucking epic. The narrator then declares new surgeries as Kenny as a trans woman Kenny greets the guys.

Couper tells Frederick he is getting an erection and asks if that's wrong. Frederick replies that yes, that is very, very wrong. The narrator adds that they will have more frequent Dillan fatalities. Kenny says hi to Dillan as he walks past him. Dillan starts to say hi back, then a car suddenly falls on him. Later, Kenny greets Dillan while waiting at the bus stop. Dillan replies howdy, then suddenly realizes he usually gets killed, just as a car falls on him, while Kenny whistles distractedly.

Dillan is pushing a trolley with explosive crates and singing when Kenny shows up in his path saying hi. Dillan panics and runs away shouting not this time, then leaps into a space with a roof, saying that was close. A couple of minutes later, Dillan checks his surroundings and reckons it should be safe now.

Dillan laughs that he thinks he's finally got this thing beat, then a car falls on him. Later, Dillan is carrying a box and sighing when he overhears Kenny saying hi, Dillan. Dillan runs away screaming, keeps running and a car falls on him.

Kenny snickers that he loves doing that as he pushes the wrecked car towards an area full of identical wrecked cars. The narrator declares more black bars as a panel with black bars has a quote of Kenny saying he wants a sandwich. The narrator then declares more drama as we see Frederick approaching Couper. The camera zooms in dramatically on Frederick's one eye lens as he says that they're out of milk. The camera focuses on Couper as he replies why doesn't Frederick just goes to the store, zooming in on his goggles at the end of the sentence.

Frederick says he will, he just wanted to know if he can get Couper anything, as the camera focuses on his lens. The camera then switches focus to Couper's hand as he replies that some pretzels would be nice. Kenny then approaches asking if Frederick is going to the store, because he has coupons. The camera focuses on Kenny's lenses, then on his hand holding two coupons.

The narrator promises more monodons as Kenny and Couper stand in front of an image of a narwhal, as Kenny excitedly declares it's a narwhal and Couper screams holy shit, then a message appears saying fucking epic. The narrator declares more nostalgia as Kenny and Dillan reminisce about the time Kenny ran through a wall of wooden crates and got beaten up by a Frenchman, with Dillan saying he bet that was embarrassing. Kenny calls them good times and Dillan agrees, then Kenny says he gotta go, to which Dillan says bye. Dillan sighs and then a car falls on him, with the narrator promising more recurring gags. The narrator finishes by saying all this and more await the reader in future episodes of Kenny the Cop, with a final disclaimer telling certain readers to stop private messaging Mjolnir asking to make them a skin, because he can't skin worth shit and Kenny's skin is proof of that.

Next comic:

in “The Conspiracy, Part I”

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