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Kenny the Copin “The Conspiracy, Part II”

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In CS Italy, a random citizen is walking and whistling. He looks up and happily says what a nice day. The citizen then overhears a strange engine noise and wonders what it is. Suddenly, a portal pops in the sky and a car flies straight out of it into the ground, crushing the citizen beneath it. On the driver's seat, Kenny comments that he thinks the engine needs a tune up because he just heard it make a blood-curdling scream. Kenny then tells Dillan he can look now.

Dillan raises his head in the passenger's seat and leaps out of the car into the ground, joyfully shouting land. Kenny says, oh, come on, and that surely he's not that bad a driver. Dillan retorts that an Asian midget with Parkinson's disease could have driven better than that while drunk. Dillan then points out he thinks Kenny killed a fella. Kenny looks over at the man beneath the car and simply states oh.

Kenny says oh, well, easy come, easy go, then tells Dillan to come on. The sandwich stealer spots Kenny and Dillan approaching and says here they come. His pigeon friend comments just as planned. The sandwich stealer asks it if it's sure this will work and the pigeon replies of course and notes that it was the stealer's idea. The sandwich stealer notes that he just hopes they don't see through his disguise as he puts on a top hat.

The pigeon tells the sandwich stealer to quit his worrying. Kenny greets them saying he got their invitation, then recognizes the man and asks if he doesn't know him. Kenny asks if he's the sub swindler, but Dillan asks if it wasn't the baguette burglar, to which Kenny wonders if it was croissandwich killer. The sandwich stealer angrily tells him that it's sandwich stealer and Kenny says oh, yeah, that's it, he's the sandwich stealer.

The sandwich stealer angrily tells Kenny he's not and that the sandwich stealer is his twin brother. Suspicious, Kenny asks what proof he has of that. The sandwich stealer points out he's wearing a top hat. Kenny immediately drops all suspicion and apologizes for the misunderstanding, noting that he just looks so much like him. Dillan asks what he's selling and the sandwich stealer presents his one hundred percent not fake cloning machine, guaranteed not to kill you or your money back. Kenny and Dillan say ooh as they stare at it.

The sandwich stealer asks Kenny if he would like to try it out and Kenny excitedly replies would he. He puts the contraption on his head and comments it has that nice new death machine smell. Dillan points out he really doesn't think Kenny should trust that contraption, but Kenny points out if he dies, he'll just get his money back. Dillan notes that Kenny is not like him, where he dies and comes back the next episode. Kenny notes he does have a point.

Kenny tries to get the machine out of his head but states he can't get it off. The sandwich stealer laughs and calls him a fool, then the pigeon says lol, pwned. An electric sound is heard and the sandwich stealer proclaims that victory is his at last. Kenny then happily notes that it worked, confusing the sandwich stealer. Dillan looks and says well, son of a bitch.

A small but otherwise identical copy of Kenny is standing in front of him and Dillan. The sandwich stealer turns to the pigeon and calls it an idiot, stating that it wasn't actually supposed to clone him, it was supposed to kill him. The pigeon says sorry, mate in Internet slang. With the pigeon on his shoulder, the sandwich stealer runs off, screaming damn you, Kenny the Cop. Dillan tells Kenny that they're getting away but Kenny distractedly replies who cares, he has a clone. Kenny holds up his mini-clone and Dillan tells him he's a terrible cop.

Kenny tells Dillan to shut up and help him think of a name. Dillan suggest Kenny Junior or Tiny Ken, to which Kenny states he likes the name Brian. Dillan points out that wouldn't work out well since the clone's armband already says Kenny. Kenny notes that the clone's name is Brian. Dillan points out that he only just named him that, but Kenny cuts him off stating that that's his name.

Dillan insists that he knows that but he's just saying it wouldn't work because his armband already says Kenny. Kenny asks how that can be since his name is Brian. Dillan screams that Kenny just named him that. Kenny retorts that he knows and so that's his name. Dillan then falls over with a groan. Kenny stares at Dillan's dead body on the floor.

Kenny puts his tiny clone over his shoulder and takes out a clipboard where he starts scribbling. The clipboard is a list of things that kill Dillan, including falling cars, speeding trains, bullets to head, bullets to spleen and gasoline plus fire. Kenny adds circular reasoning to the list. He then looks over at his clone and states that he can't wait to show him to the guys. To be continued.

Next comic:

in “The Conspiracy, Part III”

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