The Adventures of Hercule CubbageThe Adventures of Hercule Cubbage logo.Chapter One: The Prodigal Son presents

The Adventures of Hercule Cubbage

Chapter One

Based on the award-winning video game Half-Life 2
The Sun shines behind the Citadel, looming over City 17.
Narration:Ever since I was a child, I have been told that the men in my bloodline are destined to be heroes.Frankly, I never cared much for destiny. I’d rather make my own life, you see.That is, until destiny came to me and I became exactly what I was promised to be: a hero.End narration.
Cut to: a tea cup on a kitchen counter.
Narration:Who am I, you might ask?End narration.
A hand picks up the cup.
A blond, moustached man in faded blue overalls is holding the cup, a small hint of a smile on his face.
Narration:My name isHercule Cubbage.I am the son of Colonel Odessa Cubbage, renowned war hero of the Resistance.End narration.Chapter Title:

The Prodigal Son

Cut to a flashback of an older man with an identical moustache, in front of a map of the coastline. This is Colonel Odessa Cubbage.
Narration:My father always told me about his heroic deeds during the War. The skirmishes against the Combine that earned him the title of “the One Free Man”.End narration.
Another flashback: Hercule Cubbage himself, in refugee clothing, staring at a pier in the Coast of City 17.
Narration:I was once a Resistance member too, but I deserted. I was afraid of not living up to my father’s reputation.I’d rather he thought me dead than shame the great name Cubbage.End narration.
As he drinks from his cup, Hercule Cubbage looks at the direction of a TV broadcast.
Narration:However, destiny has a way of putting you on the right path
Hercule is looking at his TV, where Doctor Wallace Breen, administrator of City 17, is making the following speech.
We now have direct confirmation of a disruptor in our midst…… one who has acquired an almost… messianic reputation in the minds of certain citizens. His figure is synonymous with the darkest urges of instinct, ignorance and decay.
Some of the worst excesses of the Black Mesa incident have been laid directly at his feet.And yet, unsophisticated minds continue to imbue him with romantic power, giving him such dangerous poetic labels…… as the One Free Man, the “Opener of the Way”.
Hercule stares in shock at the television. He says to himself a single word:
Hercule Cubbage strikes a dramatic pose while the TV drones on in the background. He makes a speech to no one in particular:
Damn it, they found him.I have long given up the life of a rebel, exiling myself from my past, but I cannot sit idly as my father fights for his life!I must return!
Cut to: the stairs of the apartment building Hercule lives in, as Civil Protection, the Combine's thought police, climb the stairs. Someone in the building shouts:
Hearing the warning, Hercule talks to himself:
Blast! Dreadful timing!I shall need a weapon against Civil Protection…Ah, yes! I know just the thing.
The CP units, or metro cops as they are also called, rush into one of the floors of the building, their stun batons in hand.
They stop suddenly as someone walks out of one of the doors and says to them:
Hello, lads.
Hercule Cubbage stands under the door frame, a piece of metal pipe in his hands and a smile on his face. He tells the metro cops:
How are your beating quotas coming along? Mine’s just getting started.
Two of the metro cops stare at each other for a moment.
They then turn on their stun batons, as one of the metro cops laughs to himself, completely unfazed by the threat.
One of the metro cops advances to attack, stun stick raised high.
Hercule blocks the stun stick with his metal pipe.
He then counter-attacks, hitting the metro cop in the head with the pipe.
Hercule follows up by striking another metro cop in the chest.
Finally, he hits the last metro cop in the crotch.
The metro cop screams aloud in pain as he goes down.
By the end, all the metrocops are on the ground, moaning in pain, as Hercule calmly leaves, pipe still in hand.
As he leaves the building, Hercule checks his surroundings, as he once again talks to himself:
Hm, no cops in sight… As long as those blokes stay down, I shouldn’t have to worry about reinforcements.
Cautiously, Hercule crosses the city streets on foot, evading Combine checkpoints.
Eventually, Hercule finds what he was looking for, happily exclaiming.
From the point of view of Hercule, we see the City 17 train station, the Citadel looming behind it. Hercule says:
The train station!All I need to do now is climb down and find the passage to the old canals.
Hercule jumps over a guard rail...
... down into the roof of one of the parked trains below.
Hercule then jumps onto the next train.
From the top of the train, Hercule jumps over a nearby fence.
Hercule lands on the ground, on the other side of the fence.
In front of Hercule Cubbage is an old, dilapidated passage. He mumbles to himself:
Well, my memory hasn’t failed me. There it is, but…
Hercule descends into the passage, rubbing his chin as he wonders aloud.
No CP activity whatsoever… signs of someone else passing by…Suspicious.
As he crosses a door frame, Hercule gasps in surprise.
Bloody hell!
On the ground in front of Hercule Cubbage are two dead CP units, killed, unbeknownst to him, by Doctor Gordon Freeman (in the Half-Life 2 chapter "Water Hazard").
Someone has definitely been here earlier!And, from the looks of it, they like the Combine as much as I do!
Hercule makes his way silently through the passage, walking past other bodies of metro cops killed by Dr. Freeman.
Hercule spots a lone Civil Protection guard up front, who is talking to the Combine Overwatch on his helmet radio.
The Overwatch Voice tells the CP unit:All units, BOL for 243 suspect.To which the metro cop replies:Affirmative.
Hercule Cubbage sneaks behind the oblivious metro cop.
Hercule then uses his metal pipe to choke out the CP unit, who struggles and gasps for air.
Hercule snaps the metro cop’s neck, causing his mask to emit a flatline sound and notify the Combine Overwatch, who respond.Unit down at waste river. Remaining units, contain.
Hercule picks up the Civil Protection officer's handgun, commenting to himself.
Well, that’s that for subtlety. Better bring this along with me.
Hercule leaves the passageway and arrives at a fenced area. He then hears a train horn getting closer.
The train, a level below, stops right in front of Hercule. He looks over and figures out aloud:
Ah! As luck would have it, I can go across by jumping onto the stopped train!What a helpful coincidence!
Hercule jumps across onto the train and makes his way onward.
Hercule spots a duo of Civil Protection officers chatting to one another and readies his new gun.
Hercule fires the pistol at the metro cops.
Hercule's bullet hits one of the CPs straight in the head, killing him immediately; the other readies his gun to fire back, telling Overwatch:
Officer needs help!!!
One of the CP's shots hits the wall behind Hercule. Hercule fires back two more shots.
The shots hit the metro cop right in the chest, taking him down.
With both metro cops now dead, Hercule Cubbage keeps moving.
Hercule Cubbage jumps down onto the train tracks below to proceed.
In front of Hercule is a long, empty rail road. He calmly but cautiously moves forward.
All of a sudden, gun shots! From a passage above, a metro cop fires at Hercule and misses.
Hercule rushes to some nearby stairs, his own pistol in hand.
He corners the Civil Protection unit and shoots him three times. The metro cop goes down, a flatlining tune notifying nearby officers.
Our protagonist comes out the other side, but multiple Civil Protection units are firing at him from below.
Hercule jumps down and keeps running, while the Combine metro cops shoot at him.
Suddenly, Hercule Cubbage stares forward and notices something, saying to himself:
Horn blaring, a Combine razor train is headed straight at him, rapidly approaching.
Hercule quickly jumps to the side, narrowly avoiding the oncoming train.
He falls in the canal water below with a big splash.
Resurfacing, Hercule Cubbage comments to himself:
Gasp! Well, I was in need of a bath.
Hercule steps out of the water and into solid ground.
He climbs onto a nearby boxcar, evading the surveillance Combine scanners roaming above.
There's a hole atop the boxcar.
Hercule drops down into the boxcar. A voice suddenly calls out.
Another one?!
A man, Joe, and a vortigaunt, a former alien slave of the Combine with a slender, slimy body and multiple, bright red eyes, are staring at Hercule Cubbage.
Joe says:You’re the second to try and escape the city today.You had to pick the worst possible day, didn’t you?
Hercule smiles and strikes a dramatic pose, saying:
I had no choice, for I’m on a rescue mission.You see, I am Hercule Cubbage: the son of Colonel Odessa Cubbage!
Joe looks unimpressed as he replies.
it seems you’re also the second hero to come by today. And you’re a lot more talkative than the guy in the weird suit.
Confused by Joe's lack of reaction, Hercule tries to clarify himself while Joe opens the boxcar door.
What? But IJoe interrupts him:Look, we’re just the lookout for the Underground Railroad.The TV broadcasts were saying something about a disruptor a while ago, so I’m thinking we may have been found out. Be careful out there.
Increasingly dumbfounded, Hercule Cubbage tries to insist, saying:
You don’t understand, I’m –
Joe cuts him off as he points at the now opened door.
We really don’t have time for this! Keep going, you can find more help at the station up ahead… if anyone’s still alive, that is.
Hercule gives up and goes through the door, telling Joe:
Er, well, all right. Thank you, I suppose.To which Joe replies,Don’t mention it. Good luck with your big rescue, you’ll need it.
Now just the two of them, Joe turns to his vortigaunt pal and poses a question.
First a guy with a goatee, now one with a there a rebel facial hair contest going on?
Meanwhile, outside, the Sun is starting to set as Hercule Cubbage arrives at the nearby refugee base. He finds a few dead CPs and refugees lying around and comments to himself.
Damn. Another gory scenario.Hopefully there will be survivors among the refugees.
Hercule inspects the corpses as he keeps talking to himself, unaware that, right behind him, a shadowy figure is approaching.
I guess those poor chaps over there were executed by these blokes, after which the favour was repaid.Can’t say I envy any of —
A handgun presses against the back of Hercule's neck and he hears the characteristic click of a gun being cocked. He completes his train of thought with a whisper.
— them.Narration:Well, no one ever said the road to heroism was an easy one.End narration.
End of Chapter One.

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