The BannerEpisode 3: Corporate Song and Dance

Editorial staff of The Banner: Konstantin Sokolov, editor. Allen Fisher, staff writer. Seamus O'Flanagan, intern.

Konstantin Sokolov is snoozing at his desk when someone knocks on the door, waking him up. A letter is slid under his door addressed to The Banner. Sokolov sees the man walk away from his window and calls him a Goddamned degenerate. He picks up and reads the letter, which states that the business owner of The Banner is cordially required to attend a meet-and-greet at FALOTI Corporate headquarters, with FALOTI hoping to to relieve tension and dispel rumors regarding their relationship with the established businesses of City Nineteen with the meeting, and also discuss the owner's inevitable subjugation to FALOTI's insatiably gaping corporate maw. The letter is signed Aegis Jackson, CEO. Sokolov takes out his lighter and starts to burn the letter with a grin, telling FALOTI Corp to take this, when he notes an addition post-scriptum on the letter, stating that cooperation with FALOTI's unwavering ambition will be greatly compensated.

Later, Allen Fisher repeats in shock that Sokolov is selling The Banner. Packing a bottle of champagne into his suitcase, Sokolov realizes Allen is mad and asks what for. Allen shrugs as he tries to get the words, then redirects by asking what Seamus would think. Sokolov tells Allen he doesn't know and points to the side, telling him to ask Seamus himself. Seamus is sitting on the ground right next to Allen, with a distraught look on his face. He sniffs and clears his nose with his hand, telling Allen he's fine. Sokolov tells his two employees to listen and that he is really uncomfortable with all these quote unquote emotions they are laying down on him, but that it's going to be fine. He tells them they'll get a new boss, a new sign outside, and everything will be operating just like it usually did. Allen starts to tell him that he needs him there, but corrects himself midway through by stating Seamus needs Sokolov there. Sokolov grabs his head and says for crying out loud.

Later, at FALOTI Corp's waiting room, with the secretary sleeping on her desk, Sokolov waits, accompanied by Seamus with a nervous grin on his face and Allen confusedly holding a glass of champagne. A woman in a business suit walks into the room and greets the various parties there, introducing herself as Lyndi and pleasantly telling them she is there to show them just what FALOTI Corp has to offer. She asks that they please follow her to the elevator so they can get started. In the elevator, Lyndi sends the elevator upwards to floor 4, casually ignoring a post-it next to the button 7 stating that floor 7 is rebel controlled. In front of a no-smoking sign, Sokolov casually keeps smoking his cigar, filling the elevator with smoke. Lyndi then takes everyone to the conference room, asking that they do not mind the security as they have been having a minor insurgency, but assures them that it's nothing to worry about. As Sokolov walks into the room, Lyndi stops Seamus and Allen, apologetically telling them that it's business owners only. Sokolov looks around and simply shrugs. Allen and Seamus sit down on a nearby couch and Allen asks Seamus if he is getting an odd vibe there. Seamus tells him he has no idea what he is talking about.

Allen states like those two over there and points at a couple of FALOTI employees walking by, both with terrifying, Stepford Wives-like wide grins. Seamus shrugs that they look normal enough to him as Allen groans and tells him to come with him just snoop around their new work area for a bit. Meanwhile, at the meeting, Lyndi, accompanied by two underlings, checks if everyone's present, counting down Mister Cosmo, Mister Brzezinski and Sokolov. She claims that's everyone and a metro cop raises his finger, noting that they represent the Combine and weren't called. Lyndi lets out a small laugh and tells them she doesn't think they have a place in their organization, then calls security. While the metro cops are dragged out, Lyndi gets on with business, telling everyone present that FALOTI Corp is pleased to introduce them to the FALOTI family, accidentally almost saying indoctrinate. Sokolov rudely interrupts her, asking to see the money that was promised first. Lyndi supposes that it is only appropriate and snaps her fingers. A man in a suit then slides down from a pole with a suitcase, which opens, showering the men below with fat stacks of dollar bills.

Sokolov and the man next to him stare agape at the money showering down as another man sleeps. Lyndi proceeds to tell them that FALOTI is in dire need of storefronts in the city and that Cosmo's bar and Mr. Brzenzinski's newsstand will find a perfect place there in the FALOTI family. Sokolov points out he did not hear her say The Banner once in that statement. Lyndi tells Sokolov he is correct and explains that they already have a print presence in town with their hugely popular periodical The Vindicator, but tells him not to worry, as their marketing team has thought of the perfect fit for The Banner in their company. She then takes out a roll of toilet paper branded The Banner. Everyone on the table bursts out in laughter except Sokolov, with someone calling him little toilet paper bitch Sokolov. Sokolov's eye twitches and he gets up, then drops his cigar on the huge stack of money on the table, stating that The Banner would respectfully remove itself from these proceedings. Meanwhile, Allen is looking over some FALOTI files and notes that he didn't find anything too damning there, then asks Seamus what he thinks of the place. With his hands on his pockets, Seamus notes that if Mister Sokolov thinks this is the best choice, then he agrees with him. Two security guards with submachine guns then walk in and shout at them, asking what they think they're going there. Allen and Seamus both say oh, God together.

Allen raises his hands as one security guard approaches and tells his colleague that they got themselves a couple of corporate spooks here, while the other grabs Seamus and threateningly asks him if he knows what they do to spies in the boiler room. Nearby, two office drones with strangle Roman-like gear made out of office supplies watch them. One of the guards notices them and tells his colleague they have company coming in fast. The other security guard says they need Seamus and Allen alive and to knock them out. They strike Allen and Seamus, knocking them unconscious as gunshots and physical sounds occur. Five minutes later, as Allen and Seamus start to wake up, one man asks another, named Tiberius, if it is really them and whether they are graced with the chosen ones at least. Tiberius tells his companion Gaius that all signs imply this to be the case and that they are waking. Tiberius demands that Gaius assemble the Triarii as he wishes to greet the Chosen Ones in person. Allen and Seamus come to in an old dilapidated office room, with scraps of an old table serving as decoration with human skulls stuck on top. Gaius tells his Lord the two are nearly awake as Tiberius, an older man with a Roman soldier's helmet fashioned out of an old desk clock, declares their time has finally come. Allen asks where in the hell they are and what happened, while Seamus lays on the couch with his head on Allen's lap and in a fetal position. Tiberius greets them as the Chosen Ones and introduces himself as leader of the Floor Seven Interns. He declares that the prophecy has come to pass and Allen and Seamus have proven themselves to be true. He adds that they waited for their arrival for what feels like generations now. Confused, Allen notes that there is literally nothing he likes about any of this and asks about the prophecy. Tiberius states it was written in the ancient Codex and shows Allen an old personal organizer, with a post-it saying that two sales associates will be there at ten o'clock. Allen looks at a nearby clock, which marks twenty-five minutes past ten, and tells them there has been some kind of mistake.

Tiberius declares there is no mistake at all and that since they removed the nerve staples from their bodies they have awaited their arrival. Allen turns to Seamus and tells him he doesn't think it would be in their best interests to work for FALOTI. A speaker system then broadcasts a message to Floor Seven, stating that some of their treachery will be forgiven if they hand over the corporate spies and that they have five minutes to comply or the raid will proceed. Tiberius declares that the time of reckoning is here and beckons Gaius, who kneels in front of him. Tiberius tells Gaius to assemble his legions as war is declared and the Chosen Ones will lead them to victory. Gaius says yes, my liege and shouts to arms over Allen's protests. Tiberius tells Allen and Seamus to fulfill their destiny and set this land awash with the blood of the opressors, then adds think fast as he throws them a handgun and a shotgun. The shotgun whacks Seamus in the face as Allen grabs the handgun and they both are dragged out by Gaius' soldiers, Seamus desperately asking how he uses the shotgun. A security guard tells another that Floor Seven really went to the dogs after the quarantine and says to mop up the garbage and get back to the lounge. The Floor Seven Interns rush into the room, Seamus asks in terror what he does and an intern holding a spear screams to get them. He throws the spear, which perforates both guards. Allen awkwardly commands the troops to go to the boardroom.

Back in the meeting room, Lyndi is shouting at Sokolov that he could have had it all as her associate aims a gun at him. She tells Sokolov, whose arms are raised, that his damn pride got in the way of their ambition. The Floor Seven Interns crash into the room as one screams onward, brothers. Lyndi and her armed associate both ask what the hell in shock. Seamus hands Sokolov the shotgun, who declares let's break for lunch and shoots the food on his own suitcase, causing it to fly over the FALOTI people as an intern leaps at them with a keyboard. Sokolov throws himself back into his wheeled office chair, saying let's roll, and Seamus pushes him out as they run away. Allen points out this would go a lot faster if Sokolov would run but he states it's executive privilege and asks what took them so long to rescue him, as he is their boss, after all. An intern shouts at a Chosen One to look out and leaps at Seamus, causing Sokolov to roll away. The intern says gotcha, buddy with a smile as a guard with a hockey mask and an electric saw approaches him from behind.

Seamus screams run in terror as blood from the sawed intern covers his body. Seamus, Sokolov and Allen run away from the ongoing fight. A guard shoots an intern on his knees multiple times, until Sokolov grabs him and punches him in the face. Sokolov and his crew run off as Allen wonders if they should call an ambulance or something. They reach the exit and pause outside for a moment to catch their breath, Sokolov noting that negotiations didn't go as he had anticipated. Panting, Allen notes the working conditions there and adds that he's glad they work for Sokolov. Sokolov triumphantly declares damn right and that that settles it, work starts at four in the morning tomorrow and he wants a goddamn headline or they are fired. Later, at the office of the FALOTI CEO Aegis Jackson, Lyndi approaches the CEO, who is watching a surveillance feed, and informs him that Cosmo's bar is now fully under FALOTI control. Holding a glass of red wine, Jackson declares it perfect and tells Lyndi this calls for a celebration. He calls for a toast to their complete and total commercial dominance over this exploitable blue marble. Lyndi hesitantly notes not quite, adding that one Konstantin Sokolov has decided to remain independent. Jackson's wine droops to the floor as he crushes the glass on his hand, telling Lyndi to let it be recorded for history's sake that he will not rest until whoever that contemptible cretin is sells him his blood, sweat and tears. As the glass pieces fall to the ground and Jackson's hand bleeds, Lyndi states she will fit it into his schedule. End of episode 3.

2 thoughts on “Episode 3: Corporate Song and Dance”

rey

September 14, 2022

Too bad there isn’t a part 4.

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1. George_Stukas
  
  December 23, 2022
  
  @rey Seconded
  
  Reply

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