Combine Exchange ProgramEpisode 9: The Warden

At Nova Prospekt, a loud roar is heard from a corner. The Civil Protection officer then slides across the floor from the corner and runs away towards a barricade of old chairs and bench seats.

Zombies smash through the wooden barricade roaring. The officer stops in his tracks, screaming yikes. He tries to run away, but more zombies cover his escape. He puts his hands on his head, shouting double yikes. The cop then spots an exit on the other side, over some washbasins.

The cop climbs over the washbasins, but realizes the floor below is full of zombies trying to get to him. He notices the room’s light fixtures and says here goes nothing.

The cop jumps towards a light fixture, then gets up. He phews looking down at the zombies. He then sees a lone zombie shuffling towards a barrel and says uh-oh.

The zombie swings the barrel towards the cop, who screams crap and jumps towards the next light fixture. The barrel barely misses him and falls down. The cop says thank goodness, for a moment there.

The cop completes his sentence, saying he thought he was in real trouble. He is hanging from a light fixture with his arms and legs, right above a crowd of zombies roaring at him. He then looks over at the exit and thinks.

The cop lets go of his legs from the light fixture and steps on one of the zombie’s headcrabs. He then runs on top of the zombies, shouting crap at every step. He manages to make it and lands safely as zombies roar behind him. He then runs away, saying yeesh.

The cop sprints past a zombie growling, then realizes he’s got zombies on every side.

The officer then notices a large old rusty clothing tub. He flips it over and hides beneath it as zombies approach. The zombies surround the tub roaring and start whacking it as the cop hides beneath.

The zombies keep whamming on the tub the Civil Protection officer is hiding in, when suddenly the sound of a shotgun firing starts being heard, then quiet. The cop waits for a moment, then someone raises the tub.

The cop looks up to find the Nova Prospekt guard with a shotgun he had been chasing before. Around them are a multitude of dead zombies. The cop swiftly gets up and nonchalantly brushes his own arm.

The officer ahems and thanks the guard, who starts walking, then signals with his finger to follow. The cop walks with him with a confused look.

The Nova Prospekt shotgun guard and the Civil Protection officer make their way through Nova Prospekt. They reach a room and the cop looks over the guard’s shoulder saying huh. He spots his Combine Overwatch partner sitting in a fold-up chair. The cop walks over and asks what he is doing there.

The soldier puts his hands on the cop’s shoulders and replies that they, they brought him there, then tells him hurry, they have to leave before they return. The cop asks what he is talking about, then looks up. Five Nova Prospekt guards are creeping above him, watching. To the side of the cop and soldier are two more guards peeking from behind a pillar.

More Nova Prospekt guards watch over the cop and the soldier from above, including from the light fixtures. One of the guards hiding behind the pillar cautiously steps forward and says um. The cop and the soldier stare at him. The other guard pushes him forward.

The Nova Prospekt guard and the Overwatch soldier and Civil Protection cop stare awkwardly at each other. The guard then tells them the mistress calls for them. The soldier and the cop stare at one another, then the soldier says that’s nice and the cop says they’ve gotta go. The guard looks down and mumbles no, no, Laz, he will take you.

The Overwatch soldier and Civil Protection officer ask who in unison. Behind them stands the Nova Prospekt shotgun guard from before, Laz. They look behind themselves and scream gah. Laz starts to walk as the soldier and cop stare. The soldier asks the cop if they’re sure about this. The cop replies no, but he did help him out of a tight spot earlier, then adds it’s not like they know their way out of there, anyway.

Laz guides the cop and the soldier through Nova Prospekt. They arrive at a metal door and Laz stops. The cop awkwardly asks if this is the mistress.

Laz simply stares at the cop and the soldier, who stare back and then shrug at each other. They peek through the door and the cop asks hello. A chair is turned around inside with someone sitting in it. The chair swings around and a Combine Overwatch elite soldier shouts hello, then says she’s so glad they’re there. The soldier asks if she is the mistress.

The Overwatch elite handwaves that that’s just what the guards call her and explains she’s more of a warden there, but she guesses the guards don’t know what to do when they’re around a girl. She calls them a buncha weirdos and asks if she’s right, while the cop and the soldier stare at one another. The warden gets up and says that’s not important right now, what’s important is the question she has for Mr. Civil Protection.

The warden gets up close to the Civil Protection officer and says: tell me, do you have a butthole. Confused, the cop simply asks what. End of episode nine.

Next comic:

Episode 10: Names

2 thoughts on “Episode 9: The Warden”

Wikot235

December 22, 2022

It’s getting better (funnier) every episode :>

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George_Stukas

December 22, 2022

Love the camerawork and the dialogue. The deadpan is beautiful.
Also, balls but no butthole?

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