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House on St. BernardEpisode Five. Get a Job.

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Joseph, Lisa and Wren are looking at the newly renovated hallway. Wren comments to Lisa that the renovating she did with the extra money from work is really nice. Joseph agrees and says he's really impressed. Lisa thanks them. Suddenly, the doorbell rings. Joseph and Wren panic. Joseph screams that it's someone from the outside while Wren leaps towards a nearby pillar. Wren takes a potted plant, throws away the plant and puts the pot in his head, while Joseph flees screaming for them to run before the door opens.

Joseph falls down onto the ground screaming at the others to hit the floor. Wren, with a pot on his head, asks if it is safe yet. Lisa approaches Joseph and tells him he has mail. Joseph immediately relaxes and asks what it says. Lisa reads it and tells him that it's from the oxygen fairy saying he owes one hundred dollars. Lisa then asks who in the hell is the Oxygen Fairy. Joseph laughs and says he remembers that, then starts to tell her the story.

In a flashback, Joseph tells how, many years ago, before he met any of the guys and lived at the house on St. Bernard, he got trapped in some airtight room and couldn't figure out how to escape. As he started to get tired and run out of oxygen, he heard someone talk to him. He asked who talked and the voice told him to look up. He looked at the ceiling and found a small baby-like figure, who introduced himself as the Oxygen Fairy.

The Oxygen Fairy commented that Joseph seemed to be running out of oxygen and offered to sell it to him at ten bucks for an hour of oxygen. Back in the present, Lisa asks what happened then and Joseph explains he gave the Fairy an I owe you for ten hours of oxygen and then got out five minutes later. Lisa tells Joe he should really pay the Oxygen Fairy back because he seems intent on getting that money back. Joe tells her not to worry but Lisa insists he should still pay him back, as it would be the right thing to do. Joe says all right and then asks her to borrow one hundred dollars. Lisa declines and tells him he has to earn this money himself and find some responsibility, then calls it a valuable life lesson on economics and that the only way to earn the money is to get a job. Joseph replies he's not getting a job for sure. Lisa asks why is that.

Joe explains that to get a job, he would require transportation to get to that job, and if he has to use transportation, that requires him to go outside. He asks if she sees his point and Lisa points out she's been meaning to ask what's so wrong about going outside. Joe tells her it's a long story and handwaves the whole subject away, telling her he doesn't need to get a job or the money and for her not to worry. She relents, telling him that's fine and his choice, she's just suggesting. Days later, as Joseph enjoys a really large chair, Lisa approaches him to tell him he got another message from the Oxygen Fairy. Lisa then reads it aloud: last warning, money or your life, with love, Fairy. Joe looks at her and says maybe he should get that job.

Lisa tells him that's a good idea and Joe wonders what job he could do. He pictures being a Civil Protection officer in City Seventeen. He imagines approaching a citizen as a metro cop and telling the citizen to halt for a random search. The citizen then proceeds to beat him up with Joseph's own stun baton.

Joseph imagines the citizen beating him to the ground, smacking him one last time as he lies down in a fetal position, then going away and tossing the stun baton back at Joe.

Joseph then pictures working in fast food. He imagines himself chasing after a customer who forgot his order, then getting run over and the food bag flying up into the air and back to the ground.

Joe then imagines working a job in gardening, tending to plants. He pictures himself calling a plant pretty then comparing it to cake, and starts to sing a song about cooking cake.

Joseph continues to sing a somewhat disturbing song about cake while surrounded by plants in his imaginary gardening job.

Joseph cheerfully finishes his song, singing that it's finally time to make a cake, despite being a gardener.

Joseph notes he could always deliver newspaper and imagines what that would be like. In a vision, he delivers a newspaper to an old creepy man, who calls him Muscley Boy and thanks him. The man asks Joe if he likes popsicles, to which he replies sure. The man then invites him to come down to his cellar where he has a whole freezer full of popsicles. Joe declares that this job rocks.

Joseph imagines going down into the cellar with the old man and enjoying a popsicle the man gave him in the dark, then turning on the lights and being shocked. Back in reality, Joe comments that maybe he should just get the whole outside thing down first, then gets up, picks up a cooking pot and heads down with it under his arm.

Wren and Milo catch up with Joseph downstairs. Wren tells him he can't do this, it's crazy, but Joseph replies he has to. Wrex begs that he reconsider because it's a dangerous job and he doesn't know what could be out there. Milo puts a hand on Joseph's shoulder and tells him he's behind him no matter what he does. Joseph thanks him and Milo hands him a bright pink dildo for good luck.

Joe thanks Milo, grabs the pink dildo and heads towards the door. Milo calls Joseph one brave, crazy guy and Wrex says he'll miss him. At the door, Joseph stares at it and tells himself he can do this, while Toooooe sits next to the door, sobbing uncontrollably.

The doors open dramatically for Joseph. The brightness outside overwhelms him, forcing him to cover his eyes at first. As he adjusts, he sees a beautiful, peaceful landscape all around him.

A friendly, beautiful woman waves at Joseph with a smile and greets him, saying it's a beautiful day. Joseph looks around at the flowers and beauty for a moment, then heads back inside and slams the door. End of episode five.

Next comic:

Episode Six. Gay Ol’ Uncle Ed.

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