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House on St. BernardEpisode Six. Gay Ol’ Uncle Ed.

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Wren is standing at the front door, tapping his feet. Joseph approaches and asks him who he is anxiously tapping his feet for. Wren turns around with a terrifying stare and grin in his face. Joseph recoils in terror.

Wren comes to his senses and explains to Joseph that his uncle is going to come down and visit for a while. Joseph says may God be on his side, to which Wren replies he's not too worried, his uncle is a big guy and he's sure he can manage. Joseph then advises he keep his uncle away from Milo's booze. Just then, someone shouts oh Wrenny. Wren and Joe turn to see Wren's uncle Ed approaching them gleefully from another division of the house. Uncle Ed gives Wren a big hug with his left leg raised back. Ed asks Wren how he's been and Wren tells him he's been fine and asks why Ed didn't come through the front door. Ed says it's because it was closed and Wren mentions he could have just knocked. Ed asks Wren what he has against Ed going around the side and Wren sighs and tells him to nevermind and that it's good to have him around.

Ed exaggeratedly declares that the house is fabulous and there must be a vagina in the house somewhere because men can't decorate like that. Ed then turns to Joseph and asks Wren who the cute little Asian boy is. Wren introduces Joseph, who warns Ed that there is a badly-dressed semihuman in the house who hates people like him. Ed notes that badly-dressed doesn't fly with him around, while Wren asks under his breath if Milo is a homophobe. Joseph insists Milo hates people like Ed and will kill him. Ed handwaves it away and Joseph tells him it's his funeral and that once Milo is done burning Joseph alive he'll put his ashes in a fruit jar.

Ed leaves them joyfully as Wren asks Joseph if Ed's dead, to which Joe replies he's more dead than Elvis. Ed comes across Milo sitting next to his sofa and notes that he is indeed badly dressed but by the time Ed leaves he'll be fabulous. Milo stares at him for a second, then screams queer and jumps at Ed. Both wrestle on the ground as Joseph and Wren watch for the sidelines, overhearing Ed first say that tickles, then start enjoying it.

With Milo lying on the floor nearby, Ed starts to get up saying that was fun and he doesn't even have that much fun with his husband anymore. Ed turns to Wren and Joseph and tells them their friend is a hoot, but he needs a shower because he smells like a dirty man. Ed climbs up the stairs laughing, then a moment passes and a shriek is heard from upstairs. Ed falls down from upstairs and lands on the ground in front of Joseph and Wren.

On the floor, Ed tells Wren to run. Wren casually asks what happened this time and Ed tells him it was horrible, that he thinks he saw his life flash before his eyes and that he thought he was going to die. He explains that he saw a woman and she was naked. Hearing this, Milo starts sprinting and runs past Ed.

Milo runs upstairs gleefully shouting boobies. Wren and Joseph watch calmly, then turn to each other and comment it's going to be a long week. Milo walks back downstairs looking refreshed and tells the guys he needed that and feels like a man again. He then points at Wren and tells him he has a lot of explaning to do. Wren awkwardly rubs the back of his neck and says he kind of forgot his uncle was really, really gay.

Wren asks Joseph if he's ever noticed that almost all the gay uncles are named Ed and Joseph replies that now that he thinks about it, Wren's right and it's weird. Milo asks Wren how long Ed is going to be at the house, because he'll drive him nuts, and Wren notes it'll probably be just a week. On the ground, Ed rubs Milo's leg with a smile, then Milo stomps his foot on Ed's face in anger.

Milo tells Joe and Wren he's going back to drinking booze and hanging with Crammy. Lisa then walks downstairs already dressed and tells Wren he didn't tell her his uncle was coming to visit. Wren apologizes for Ed walking in on Lisa and she tells him not to worry, it didn't bother her that much and it's not like it turned him on, in fact, he just looked, started to cry and ran away. Wren notes it couldn't have been as bad as Milo walking in on her and she replies that he did concern her a little bit, but it's getting late and she has work the next day, so she bids them goodnight. Hours later, Wren yawns and tellshimself he shouldn't have stayed up that late. He walks upstairs.

As Wren walks past another bedroom, he spots something that shocks him. Ed and Milo are having intercourse alongside Crummy the headcrab and a Vortigaunt with a cricket bat. They all wave at Wren, who tells himself he's just dreaming and goes away. End of episode 6.

Next comic:

Episode Seven. Milo Part One

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